So I was at Target the other day, doing some shopping. I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt. But I was also wearing jeans, flip-flops, and carrying my Bigass Purse of Doom, as well as being on my cell phone while I browsed. I didn’t really look like I worked there.

I was standing in cosmetics, just looking at some eyeshadow and chatting to my friend, when this 40-ish soccer mom type grabs my goddamned arm.

“SHAMPOO!” she yells in my face.

I threw my arms up and yelled back “FISHSTICKS!”

She just stared at me, confused, and didn’t say anything.

“I win!” I yelled, and skipped off.

Of course, that was fun to explain to my friend on the phone.